AH: Atomic Contemplation

i never had a problem with someone being honest with me….i’m human sure i’m not going to like hearing my flaws and the bullshit i screw up on but that’s just how people as a whole are some show others don’t its normal, i can accept it i can understand it but i don’t have to agree with it.

sometimes i wonder why i’m here, what my purpose is in life.  sometimes i wonder what the point is in walk the earth…why talk to people why bother with anything.  i’ve lived my life trying to be the best person i can, i’ve taken my falls and got up and kept moving.  in the last 6 or so years i’ve been loyal to everyone around me yet i’ve always felt as if i were selfish…i’ve answered countless calls in the middle of the night and still do, i’ve been the shoulder to cry on, i’ve been the one who’s been cursed out and taken the fall for the issues other people cause and the hurt but i’ve never felt like it was enough.  i still don’t…lately i guess i’ve been selfish i’ve been trying to put my talents to use so then i can be better than what i am maybe i was wrong…i’ve neglected people and that was wrong but i’ve also been there for people yet i’ve been given plenty of ass to kiss…that’s cool too but it doesn’t change my character.  even with that said maybe i was wrong maybe i was just being selfish, maybe i’m just the fucked up person i think i am deep down. maybe i should just take a step back so then i can’t hurt anyone else cause any more pain or be in anyone else’s way. for one step forward i take with one person or in one place i take 6 back with someone else or some where else….maybe i should just keep trying to make everyone happy and forget what i have in mind….cool its a rant and its nonsense its bullshit that no one wants to hear cause we all have problems, i can accept that too i’m just another one voicing mine ….

1. artisandream posted this